10 DECK PASS PATCHES THAT DON’T EXIST……… BUT SHOULD
By The Splashfather Chronicles.
USA Swimming’s Deck Pass App is a fantastic and ingenious creation. For those of you who aren’t familiar, Deck Pass is accessible by any USA Swimming Member. It is linked to the USA Swimming database and allows parents and swimmers to keep track of times, set goals and see how they are ranked compared to other swimmers. It also has discounts and deals available from such swim vendors as Speedo, TYR and even Marriott.
However, perhaps the coolest feature in Deck Pass are the achievement patches. These include a bunch of timeline patches, such as birthdays and National swimming events, as well as achievement-related patches, such as reaching certain National Motivational Times, and some fun ones as well, such as:
The 4 Legged Monster for having swum all four legs of a medley relay at some point in the season:
Hitting the Mark, for getting a whole second time in any event (ends in .00).
There are a number of events that occur at swim meets, however, that probably should merit their own patches – some are achievements, and some are a little more along the lines of dubious achievements! Here is The Splashfather’s input on 10 Deck Pass Patches that should exist:
IN THE BLIND
Given to any swimmer who still manages to finish a race after their goggles fell off on the dive
Any swimmer who spent so much time playing/posting/texting on their iPhone waiting for events, that their phone/iPad/iPod battery ran dead
Any swimmer who came out and swam way too aggressively in warmups in order to look cool
The Rare feat of disqualifying (DQ’ing) in more than 1 event in a single meet (unless you are under 6 years old, in which you probably should get a patch for NOT DQ’ing more than one event)
Manage to eat at least 4 Cookies from concessions during a single meet session
Given to a swimmer over the age of 10 who manages to miss the start of their event
PITY THE POOL
A patch that swimmers earn when they swam so fast, they gave the pool a good old-fashioned beatdown
RUNNING ON EMPTY
Given to any swimmer whose final split was at least 50% slower or worse than their first split (most commonly in the 100-200 Fly)
THE SWIMMING DEAD
Swimmer turned into a virtual zombie as a result of swimming 10 or more events in a weekend
Swimmer who creates Sharpie artistry on their fellow swimmers to rival the great masters
Have any ideas for Deck Pass Patches that we need to add to our list? Share them below in the Comments section below, and Subscribe to the Splashfather Chronicles for more entertaining and informative content just like this (ok, you got me, this really wasn’t informative at all….but I hope it was entertaining)
MAY THE TIMECLOCK BE EVER IN YOUR FAVOR.